Menacing Kitten Headquarters Melts Down, Cries Glowing Chernobyl Tears

As you know, I am moving. What you may not know is my shit is moving out six weeks before I do, nothing is working the way it’s supposed to, nothing is happening on time, everything sucks and hatehatehatemeltdowncry. Allow me to back this up a little. So, we put a bid on a beautiful […]

50 Shades of Dismay – Adventures in Spray Tanning

by Kirsten Benzel I’ve never made a New Year’s resolution. I’m 28. I reasoned that the new year is nothing more then an arbitrary number and I’ll take care of business when it’s time and not when I have a champagne hangover and glitter stuck in my hair. Or maybe I just know deep down […]

The Legend of Creepy Santa

Last year, property management for our building decided to decorate the lobby for Christmas.  Typical of their design style, it was a mix of incompatible styles and concepts that ultimately looked like Tim Burton overdosed on a deadly cocktail of kitsch, IKEA and Beetlejuice.  A demented-looking, 9-foot plastic Santa was the “highlight” of the lobby. […]

How Patriotic Is Your Candidate? A Score Card

This time of year brings an abundance of political mailers to our doorstep.  Thanks to a major election year and Arizona’s redistricting, we could wallpaper our family room with the brochures and pamphlets we receive. With all of these options, how does one decide who to vote for? I mean, it’s not like you want […]

5 Foods I Want to Send Away to the Cornfield

(Except for corn because…mmm…corn…) Honeydew Melon Sometimes, I don’t want a side of chips.  Most of the time, I could also pass on the creamy potato or pasta salads.  Almost always I could really go for a fruit side; but whenever I see a fruit as an option? I pass.  Do you care to guess […]

N.F.W.: Our New Gossip Commentary!

Here at Menacing Kitten Headquarters, when we’re not drinking Chocotinis, heating inedible frozenstuff, or drooling over James Marsden, we are talking gossip.  We love our blind gossip from Crazy Days and Nights, our “Ding-Dang Y’all, Brittany’s Eating Wings!” exposés of TMZ, and our snarkilicious Dirt Bag from Jezebel.  Because gossip and schadenfreude are dishes best […]