Keep vs. Toss, Round One

I like my drinks shaken, not stirred...with a splash of grenadine and a cherry thx ;P

I am moving in a few months, and it is with 97% certainty we will have to move to a smaller house.  For this reason, I have to get rid of a TON of shit.  I’ve decided I need to sort my stuff out in 5 piles:

1) Toss
2) Keep
3) Keep for a yard sale
4) Keep for a bigger sale
5) Donate

I thought this would be easy, but within minutes of tackling a small stack of papers, I was reminded of my problem with getting rid of stuff.  Here was my thought process from night one:


- There is a stack of papers and magazines here and I’m going to throw them away.

- Here are some recipe cards from 1974. They’re for like, fondue and weird-looking lasagna. How did I get these? Toss.  There! Thrown away! On to the next.

...You mean another Colonel looked like that?

- OMG I completely forgot I had these old-timey booze recipes.  Let me stop and read them.  They are so amazing and cool! Look at the weird pictures and the outdated recipes! Keep.  Keep.  Keep.

- “The Sportsman’s Way: How to Prepare Wild Game and Waterfowl”.  Do they have squirrel? They do!! And not only that, they have raccoon and bear! How can I get rid of that? Let me show it to Chris…he doesn’t understand this.  What if we’re in a situation where we have to live off the land and eat wild stuff? Yeah, no, I’m not going to skin an animal, ew.  But still… Keep.

- “Sunset’s Favorite Company Dinners”: This is great Stepford Wife stuff – making perfect meals for your Bridge club and whatnot. This is for ladies who wore dresses and pearls just to go to the grocery store; this is historic.  Keep.

- Whole Foods’ “Bulk Basics: A simple guide to cooking and buying bulk foods.”  Oh, this is easy – toss.  But.  It tells you how to cook weird beans and rice and stuff. I really want to keep this if I need it…but INTERNET!…but what if I can’t find it on the internet? But…ughhhhh….Toss.

- Aerogarden guide.  F-ing waste of money. Toss….oh wait, we can sell the Aerogarden at a tag sale.  Maybe I should keep this to give to the new owners of the Shitty Aerogarden Where Only Basil Grows and Oregano is a Wasteland of Brown Death and Fail.  Keep.  With the Hot Chocolate Maker Instruction Manual.

If this weren't you know, BEAR, it would be kind of nom.

- Omaha Steaks cooking guide for all things meaty.  Servicey. Keep.

- Ola’s Norwegian Cookbook. Eh, someone might want this for a tag sale.  Keep.

- A magazine of cookie recipes. I don’t want to throw this away but…ahhhhh…Toss.

- A Cooking Light from 1997? But it’s a Holiday one…but it’s 1997. The way they use trendy ingredients, this shit probably calls for Fen-Fen and Fiona Apple. Toss.

- Bon Appetit Thanksgiving edition. 2003? Ehhh…KEEP.

- A recommendation letter for UNT’s College of Music.  Keep. Really? Yes.  And my signature was so nice back then…

- Music paper?  But…I…might…use…Toss.  Sniff.

- Food & Wine Holidays. 2005. Keep.

- Bon Appetit Holidays 2004. Keep.

- Cooking Light Holidays 2011.  Oh, that looks yummy.  Keep.  I love holiday recipes.

- This is a picture of what I am keeping, and what I am throwing away:

We are in trouble.