I am moving in a few months, and it is with 97% certainty we will have to move to a smaller house. For this reason, I have to get rid of a TON of shit. I’ve decided I need to sort my stuff out in 5 piles:
3) Keep for a yard sale
4) Keep for a bigger sale
I thought this would be easy, but within minutes of tackling a small stack of papers, I was reminded of my problem with getting rid of stuff. Here was my thought process from night one:
- There is a stack of papers and magazines here and I’m going to throw them away.
- Here are some recipe cards from 1974. They’re for like, fondue and weird-looking lasagna. How did I get these? Toss. There! Thrown away! On to the next.
- OMG I completely forgot I had these old-timey booze recipes. Let me stop and read them. They are so amazing and cool! Look at the weird pictures and the outdated recipes! Keep. Keep. Keep.
- “The Sportsman’s Way: How to Prepare Wild Game and Waterfowl”. Do they have squirrel? They do!! And not only that, they have raccoon and bear! How can I get rid of that? Let me show it to Chris…he doesn’t understand this. What if we’re in a situation where we have to live off the land and eat wild stuff? Yeah, no, I’m not going to skin an animal, ew. But still… Keep.
- “Sunset’s Favorite Company Dinners”: This is great Stepford Wife stuff – making perfect meals for your Bridge club and whatnot. This is for ladies who wore dresses and pearls just to go to the grocery store; this is historic. Keep.
- Whole Foods’ “Bulk Basics: A simple guide to cooking and buying bulk foods.” Oh, this is easy – toss. But. It tells you how to cook weird beans and rice and stuff. I really want to keep this if I need it…but INTERNET!…but what if I can’t find it on the internet? But…ughhhhh….Toss.
- Aerogarden guide. F-ing waste of money. Toss….oh wait, we can sell the Aerogarden at a tag sale. Maybe I should keep this to give to the new owners of the Shitty Aerogarden Where Only Basil Grows and Oregano is a Wasteland of Brown Death and Fail. Keep. With the Hot Chocolate Maker Instruction Manual.
- Omaha Steaks cooking guide for all things meaty. Servicey. Keep.
- Ola’s Norwegian Cookbook. Eh, someone might want this for a tag sale. Keep.
- A magazine of cookie recipes. I don’t want to throw this away but…ahhhhh…Toss.
- A Cooking Light from 1997? But it’s a Holiday one…but it’s 1997. The way they use trendy ingredients, this shit probably calls for Fen-Fen and Fiona Apple. Toss.
- Bon Appetit Thanksgiving edition. 2003? Ehhh…KEEP.
- A recommendation letter for UNT’s College of Music. Keep. Really? Yes. And my signature was so nice back then…
- Music paper? But…I…might…use…Toss. Sniff.
- Food & Wine Holidays. 2005. Keep.
- Bon Appetit Holidays 2004. Keep.
- Cooking Light Holidays 2011. Oh, that looks yummy. Keep. I love holiday recipes.
- This is a picture of what I am keeping, and what I am throwing away:
We are in trouble.